Rebecca Black Makes Me Want To Hurt People
So I was introduced the the little gem known as Rebecca Black last night and her, hopefully, never to be hit song Friday. There is so much wrong with this…I just don’t know where to begin.
In deciding to write this post, I realized I could keep it classy because she is only 13 after all. Or I could stay true to myself and just rip Rebecca Black a new asshole. I went with the latter because…it just feels right.
Here is what’s happening, in simple words, she’s trying to make Jew happen and it goes horribly horribly wrong. Remember a time when 13 year old singers had to be attractive? You don’t? I’ll give you an example.
JoJo
I included the banner noting the year to make you feel extra dirty. Granted, she was 15 at the time which is slightly better than the 13 year old Rebecca Black, but I’m fairly certain JoJo didn’t look like a fraggle at the age of 13. And she could sing.
I was always under the impression there were two things that made a teen star successful:
1) Be attractive enough to make older men feel very uncomfortable and properly aged men drool.
2) Make young girls want to be that person.
JoJo did it. Britney Spears did it. Christina Aguilera did it (I know she’s a drunk miss piggy right now but take your memory back 10 years).
Who the hell is going to drool over Rebecca Black. She can’t sing so you really can’t listen to her for more than 15 seconds and no young girl is going to look at her and think “I want to be as ugly and unpopular as her”. Face it. Any girls she knows aside from brace face in her video make fun of her relentlessly. The simple fact is its probably so bad her parents pushed her down this road. It’s the only way to keep their daughter from ending up on a Dr. Phil episode about bullying.
And then there is the song/video. It’s one of those things where if you aren’t suicidal…you will be by the end of the video. You’ll also find that you really hate weekends. You’ll hate Friday’s so much that you might find yourself waking up during the night on Thursday in a cold sweat. You won’t be able to shake it. It just gets in the deepest regions of your brain and drops it’s ugly hooks into your gray matter, injecting it’s virus and melting your brain and making you it’s bitch. It’s that bad.
So I challenge you. If you have children and they say “I love Rebecca Black” hit them. Hit them so hard they will end up in therapy when they are 22 and have daddy issues. Remember, you’re doing it for the good of society as a whole. We can’t go down this road.
Oh and, Rebecca is just the tip of the iceberg. I started down an internet path that led me to places I didn’t want to go. And I’ll be blogging about them soon. Be prepared.
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Wow. Your a moron. Saying she sucks because she isn’t like those other people that suck that you mentioned? All the people you mentioned are subjects of a greedy music industry. None of them were talented enough to deserve the fame they got. I know many people way more talented than everyone you named…
Let’s be fair here. She sucks because she can’t sing and is being pushed into the limelight when there is simply no talent. And believe me…there is a large crew of singers who suck just as bad
That fact you are complaining about her looks, and saying she is not attractive is really sick. First of all any normal functioning brain would classify her as attractive. Model beautiful? hmm maybe not…or maybe so. People like you are the reason that many people obsess over their looks and go crazy with plastic surgery…because morons like you are critiquing them and making them feel inadequate for the way they look. Fortunately there aren’t more people like you! And as for the music, 15-year-olds enjoy this sort of music, so get over it you twisted fart.
let’s be fair, the song sucks.
Dude, I’m 13 and even I hate her shit. I’m just reply to the last thing you said. Just lettin ya know.
SHE’S FUCKING AWEFUL. who let this happen
hey i think Rebbecca black can sing and she is talented alright so it doesn’t matter what you think about her. And just because Rebbecca Black dies after walking into a football stadium and being overwhelmed with the number of seats to choose from.
can u upload ur pic…and let us then decide how beautiful u are..and let us comment on ur beauty….actually i would love to c the ur face..so i can relate this ugly article with ur face…y do y even blog such an article….wipe ur arse face and get a life
Nice try, Rebecca Black.
I agree Rebecca Black cannot sing. Whenvever I hear her song anywhere, I turn it off. I taught my parrot to say “the worst song ever is on”. However, the comment as to her looks – keep the article clean – not everyone looks pretty, she is only 13 years old and she looks okay. The issue here is her talent, her song is horrific because she needs singing lessons. Maybe with the money she will make, she will take lessons.
There is an old saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. I agree that the song is unpleasantly REPETITIVE, and her voice is not TOO soothing to MY ears, but she appeals to a much younger base than I fit into. When I was younger, Janis Joplin was ‘screaming’ her songs with what I thought was little or no talent at all, but she was popular with a lot of people. Everyone can have an opinion, but do we HAVE TO SAY “SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHIT”, ETC. I have had that opinion about the voices of many performers, but I never voiced it in that manner. I didn’t think Janis could carry a tune in a bucket, but her songs are still played on the radio, and are STILL SELLING by being included in musical compilations on CD. Simon *Coward* put great stock in looks, but Susan Boyle went right on singing, and many like her voice even though Simon thought her looks would keep her down. Beside that, Rebecca IS cute. You need to examine yourself before you pick on others.
I do admire the quality singing of Rebecca Black have you checked the new song called Rebacca Black My Moment song i think it is more better then Friday